Transfixed were my eyes as I, all agog, impregnated my patience with all of my will. The Ixtx were slow to complete even the most transitory of thoughts, meaning that the majority of their sentiments were vastly outdated by the time they were expressed. On one such occasion, they expressed a sentiment so out of date that the original event’s consequences’ conswquences’ consequences (and so on) evolved sentience, and expressed, for the first time, their own sentiment, which related to the self-aware consequence offspring of those consequences how remarkable it was that, upon evolving into bipedal consequences with opposable results (for gripping tools), that the first thign they should hear was the expression of a sentiment about the event that got the whole shebang consequencing away in the first place. The intermingling of those sentiments is why we have Pepsi. This was not such an occasion, it would turn out, as the very sentiment they now ponderously expressed was one relating to a situation as fixed as the sun in the sky.
Their languor gave me time to extend my plontar-tongues towards them, to taste-rape their emotional discharges. Hmm. Pensive. I should have been able to guess by the 2khz overtones in their hidden screams. Nevertheless. Pensive.
‘You see. We find ourselves without amelioration of a notable and oft discussed semi-migrant problem. The itinerancy of the problem forms a large portion of the problem. Despite all of our best effort–”
“You haven’t been able to solve it,” i interjected, impatiently.
“–we haven’t been able to agree upon the form that the treatise about the nature of the parapateticance of the problem should take. We are divided, factionally speaking, into a variety of groups that, when discussed geometrically, form a kind of wet rectangular chair. You know the kind with the red hand stamped on the side?”
I knew the kind, but i didnt’ give them the satisfaction.
“NOw, we have this problem, again, of great note. A problem which, as we have mentioned, is migrant. Well, semi-migrant. Actually, the degree of migrancy forms its own independant sub-problem, ordinally speaking, of a lower strata but attached to the problem of the general NATURE of the migrancy of the problem. Some argue, quite cogently, that the migrancy is between semi and full. INfract, a new theory of 3/4 migrancy has ben proposed. Naturally, we are ill equipped to encorporate anything so radical so quickly.”
“And this either partially or totally migrant problem is?”
“Well, it’s Lunar in nature.”
Their words taste-raped true. The moon. The last great enemy from the great war against harmless inanimate spheres. Up to his old tricks.
“Up to his old tricks?”
“Quite. Or Quote. The I:O ratio is being strictly monitored. But yes. Quote.”
I was quote certain that i knew what was goong to come next. Ot was ibvoius. They were going to drone on for several hours, depriving me of my feathery tickle moments most often exploited during such mornings. What moments they were too, gossamer things, effluent of tickles. Each moment, a gold lined font of tittery gigglers. And now I, deprived of them, was yoked by the endless explanation of the Ixtx. An explanation so long that the superstitious believed, without any corroborating evidence, that the explanation began before the universe itself. An explanation that when lain end to end, could stretch half way out into some distant place, and back, or, if not folded back on itself, all the way to some distant place, or if folded twice, 1/3 of the way. Or all of the way to a place 1/3 as far as the first distant place. It was that long. It was only about 20 centimeters wide though, so, not really that big a deal when taken laterally. But no, i happen to be on the business end of the universes longest explanation. And me without my befuddler.
to be continued….
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