I frequently try to get into the Onion, but i always fail. Here are some of the ones i think are still not bad.
NASA finds wine on the moon.
Lance Armstrong announces retirement from being an asshole
Jack-o-lantern fright victim regains consciousness – Pitched November 15th around
Not enough blame to go around – this is essentially exactly what the onion does
Man can’t visualize own success – forgot the word “area” at the beginning of this one, apparently
Naughty children tapped for long mars mission. – awww
I think those would have made great Onion Slappers.
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