Toronto Breakfast Vestments

I found this and i thought it was funny. A relic from a bygone age when we all did sketch because it was the best and we weren’t bitter

A journalist walks with a scientist through his lab, inspecting various objects, finally stopping in front of a large box with a door on the front.

Interviewer: What is this?

Dr: This is my onion deprivation tank.

Interviewer: Interesting. how does it work.

Dr: I close these doors, the person in the tank is totally deprived of contact with onions.

Interviewer: I gotta say, it smells a lot like onions.

Dr: Well, it is full of onions. It’s also made of onions.

Interviewer: In what way is that an onion deprivation tank?

Dr has no answer.

I hear this is how everyone gets a TV show.  They get funny or die to give them one.

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Meanwhile, back in the city of Toronto, 2009…
Vast titanic breasts on an enormous nude chest have just emerged from the city centre, ripping up everything from Bloor and Sherborne to Queens Park Circle…

The man from the hyper-future, Tyra Banks, stands amazed at the chest unleashed by his powerful super-suit’s chestmaker. With him are the nerd he recently met, and soeone who looks remarkably simlar to (name deleted). But it can’t be him, can it? (name deleted) is sleeping, dreaming, even now inside the frown of the universe… then who is this man? What is his plan? And his span? Fan.

The dials and knobs on my suit dialed down and knobbed down to the minimum. I was again allowed to utilize my own bodily limbs to control my directions and motions. how pleasing it was to regain that lost control.

The night air swelled with the rush if heat of the heaving breasts on the now breathing chest, and with the cries and yelps of the hapless Torontonians who had, understandably, not predicted this occurance. Torontonians are notably terrible at predicting the emergence of body parts in the middle of their city, as their future history would bear out time and time again. Old Shafty-Cocks of 2140 really springs to mind.

THE BITTER END – EPISODE 2: Second Chances from The Bitter End on Vimeo.

I laughed and someone heard it, so it must have been out loud.