A religious take on the mysteries of science.

futureccapeWhen last we encountered our hero, he was dead, in the sparsely populated afterlife of frown ejecta.  The Grand Frown of The Universe has realized that he could not digest our protagonist because he was unable to give up his personality to become banal.  Or so he thought!  In actualityville, the mayor recently decreed that much of this is actually only perception, caused by the distant human descendant’s matrix of understanding, his paradigm, created by his socialization, and his various lamps which imbue young human descendants with the necessary social constructs to be totally useless to themselves and society, as Barhalluu the Wise intended.  Due to these measures, one such socially integral force imbued by blaser (bland laser) was the force of self-doubt, or Doublington’s Force, named after Chauncey Doublington, the world’s first human descendant without self-doubt.  His irritatingly self confident poncery caused his extensively planned murder, and in memory of this horrid blitheness, the very thing he most lacked was burdened with his name (as at the time, people’s names were vast megalithic monumental structures, akin to the first Earth Layer’s Pyramids of Giza, only seeping nomenclaturational greases and oils.)

Click to continue reading “Day 28: The Freshmaker”

category: News
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A bunch of new things are immanent. Including a few vidoes with Playboy model Reby Skye. A video with Jim Tozzi of PFFR/Squidfamily Productions, a second video with the same, some new songs, and a new article on Gasses.

Stay tuned.

category: video
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category: video
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category: comedy
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category: novel
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futureccape
Meanwhile, inside the Frowning Lad of Time and Space….

So this is what it was like to be dead.  It wasn’t that bad actually.  It was basically the same as being at a billy joel concert.  Actually, since billy joel was a musician from 9 trillion or so years in my past, i had no idea whether that reference was amusing, but in my short stint in the 21st century i’m pretty sure i heard basically 30 or so people say that, and everyone around them laughed in the manner of the era, violently, through the lone oral cavity of the face.  Imagine, laughing and eating in the same place.  disgusting.

Click to continue reading “Day 27: halloween”

• Sweltering – the way we’d describe the heat of heartthrob Luke Perry’s body as it burned in that L.A. Riot #90sslang4 minutes ago from web

• Breath – gaseous coins we spent on air hockey and miniature tables to put our real coins on #90sslang6 minutes ago from web

• Punanigram – Mixing up all the letters stored in a girl’s vagina, in her letter pouch, to make new vagina words #90sslang10 minutes ago from web

• WWF – a charity that reminded everyone that life was a confusing maze of crises, and bathed ducks or something #90sslang11 minutes ago from web

• Laser Dandy – laser version of the phonocube that stored high fidelity recordings of children not learning to work for a living #90sslang12 minutes ago from web

• Clip Hop – a kind of music in which the rap beats are provided on one CD, and the vocals are provided in a severed horses hoof #90sslang13 minutes ago from web

• Bedazzlement – the feeling of growing old and realizing that few of your friends are left alive, and those few are really gross #90sslang15 minutes ago from web

• A Roll Hamper – the kind of car you modified so you could fit a lot more sandwiches by the typically 90s grappling hook launcher #90sslang16 minutes ago from web

• No Duh, Grant – how pre-teens dealt with shadows they thought were stealing their secrets – #90sslang17 minutes ago from web

• Candy Man – a man whose sneakers were covered in glowing gems that he presumably found in one of those 90s UFOs #90sslang19 minutes ago from web

• Steppin Around – willfully disregarding the good of the clan by marrying a woman of the clan MacGreggor #90sslang19 minutes ago from web

• Plague – a way for rappers to spread death and chaos through rural areas without sanitation #90sslang20 minutes ago from web

• Bluejays Baseball Game – anything that was good, or super eg “This is a real bluejays baseball game, your majesty” #90sslang21 minutes ago from web

• Lady of Falcons – a “sister” who really had it “going on” in the “haunted vagina” full of “ghosts” – #90sslang22 minutes ago from web

• the Gray Mistress – the internet #90sslang23 minutes ago from web

• Talk-pipes – the internet #90sslang23 minutes ago from web

• Babe Dracula – a guy who likes to date pretty girls and then post about them on his all HTML webpage full of <hr>  tags #90sslang23 minutes ago from web

• Chesterfield Sunday – brutal slaying of children in a driveby, on a specially rigged sofa on wheels – #90sslang24 minutes ago from web

• Who is responsible for releasing the dogs out? – Question used to weed out weak links in the social hierarchy – #90sslang25 minutes ago from web

• Ka-Zong! – exultation of breaking free from one of those moist man sized cakes we used to get trapped in in the 90s #90sslang26 minutes ago from web

• Homeboat – A male urbanite whose home is in a rusty chest, that he thinks is a boat.  Nice try, ding dong. #90sslang26 minutes ago from web

• Serpent Wizard – A man who slithers around the dance floor, conjuring bats.  Who let that guy in?  #90sslang27 minutes ago from web

• Here are some 90′s slang terms you dont’ hear much anymore #90sslang

funny post
1. money

2. You both need the “best of cameo” CD at the exact same moment, every moment, every day, ever.

3. SHe used all your white-out. You need white-out to “fix history”.

4. She says you cough so much you should be IN a coffin. BUt you are scared to admit that to yourself.

5. You both think Spaghetti Western literally means “western”, but it doesn’t. It’s a dish at fine restaurants.

6. If they don’t, Baron Graldivor will use “the device” on their children.

7. She’s standing on your foot!

8. She won’t shut the fuck up about your supposed god dammned anger problem.

9. One of you, i’m not saying which, has a terminal illness. One of you, i’m not saying which, has a lot of syringes lying around. Just saying.

10. You stopped having sex and the passion is gone. You barely talk anymore, and he doesnt’ have a job you respect.

futureccape
Meanwhile, in another part of house…

“I’m calling from inside the house!”, said the voice. Just then, the operator broke in on the conversation.

Click to continue reading “Day 26: Graysian Food”

futureccapeMeanwhile, the exact moment that Tyra Bank teleported away from (Name Deleted)’s bullet…

Somehow, the suit had saved me, in a flash I had seen the world around me dissolve into an ambigious cloud. Swirls of color filled my vision and sense not unlike being asked to help your friend move from one house to another flooded my body. Why had (name deleted) decided to kill me? Did it have something to do with my confidence?

Click to continue reading “Day 25: Teleport Issues”

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