Signs your girlfriend is cheating on you
1. She buys books
2. She has a cell phone.
3. She hangs out in graveyards
4. Smells like someone is cooking breakfast.
5. you hear howling, but see nothing.
6. She asks to borrow your car for a day, but doesn’t need to borrow the keys.
7. She takes your blood to the blood bank, but takes longer than usual.
8. She has the albums of Ozzy Osborne on her ipod, and her ipod has a picture of her in a coffin on it.
9. She can turn into a mist or fog.
10. Since drinking the blood of your friend stephen that one time, she fears the sun and likes dogs suddenly
11. She talks about “having a delicious baby”, but is on birth control
12. two words, she’s acting weird and wont’ look you in the eye, when she does, you black out
13. You keep waking up with Stephen looming over you, and not in a good way.
14. When you call her cell phone, her answering machine is just her hissing and saying “Nocturus Mortis”
15. She keeps saying “the sound of your thoughts is deafening, but not for much longer.”
16. She doesnt’ wear underwear anymore, she claims “for easy access for Stephen”
17.She’s currently burying you in a grave while she and one of your old friends feed on a stranger.
18. She doesn’t dig you up and let you out of this coffin for an awkwardly long time.
19. You have no oxygen to breathe, because she probably breathed it all with some other guy.
