Toronto Breakfast Vestments

It’s been a while since i posted in this thing.  I’ve been a little bit busy attempting to restore balance to the Magnivore Contingent and his reclusive platoon.  Needless to say.  I’ll be posting more.

Grubtunes gave me a very nice review!

Whenever i feel like i have no creativity, i take on some impossible challenge.  Something that compels me to prove to myself that i’ve totally out of ideas.  So i’ll be doing a 30 day challenge.  30 songs in 30 days.  Including May 10th, 30 songs in one day (not expected to actually complete them all).

http://www.churchofinternet.com/30 days/ is the location where you can hear my progress each day.

I think i’ve got a good crop of predicable uncreative bullshit in there right now.  So hopefully i’ll be really working out some magic by the end of this month.

I shoudl also be writing a “10 jokes a day” or “one script a week” thing.  but i’m a loser.

I started and never finished these songs in the last couple days.

They’re like, not even 10% done.  You need to name them.  If you do, andi like the name, you get what this girl calls a “hand John”.. i think she says.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

if this last one sounds a little fucked, that’s because its 3 voices, each in a different tempo, and time signature.  Every 36 beats of the first track, all 3 tracks sync up again.  I wanted to see how “modern composing” would sound on a gameboy.  it sounds like ti does elsewhere. S hitty, intellectual, boring, and impossible to listen to if you’re not an asshole.  (like that Steve Reich guy.. he’s dead right?  he should be).

here are 7 demos of songs i just cant’ seem to finish.. i wrote these over the last 48 hours..

name them, and i will finish them.  they need names.

A silly truffle.

embedded by Embedded Video

YouTube Direct Style  2012: The Secret Mentaliaty of Bestness

I just wrote a long very sincere post about something, and then looked at it and went “this is exactly the kind of thing comedians make fun of when other people do it.” Am i losing my comedy powercells?

I need some kind of infusion, and fast. I am taking suggestions. Send your suggestions to 593 Bathurst and BLoor intersection Blvd.

Last i heard, the EP will be out on monday? That seems a little early to me, but if its true! All must attend this group on facebook to receive the EP, on pain of death.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=68338179837

by not joining this group, you are not getting my ep. By joining it, you are.

Do you want to get diamonds? I will pay you in diamonds.

I am a world renowned scientist who has recently won a series of prestigious awards, including a Grammy, for my science research. Upon discovering the ubiquitous nature of Beldaine-Rayburn reliant metrion emissions at the ground state in a neutral cesium gas, I have, shall we say, made my fortune and am now set for life.

I am throwing a special party for those who have helped me in my research, which will be populated by actors portraying miniature versions of my staff (though the actors are full sized, they are using the Aschroft Method to portray things at 1/10 the scale, for instance, talking to people at the party, but small, or standing inside their own clothes, but 10% of size).

This party will also be peopled by nude females who will serve drinks, and observe the behaviour of a series of barium cylinders which are being bombarded by metrion emisions, giving off a fragrant light (i have created scented light, which is being modified by S.C. Johnson Wax Co. Ltd. Int. of AMerica to be made into a light which brightens the nasal passages of adults who are likely to be watching the average sitcom, 30-59 years old, on a wednesday night, preferably on ABC or CBS, and who purchase an average of 4 – 7 pairs of shoes per household in the typical fiscal year).

The women need the following qualifications

- They have a minimum breast size roughly equivalent to a Morganstern Flask (20 oz imperial, 591.5 ml metric, or 72891 industrial microlards) THis is roughly equivalent to a an actress I know. Her breasts are reputed to be a C cup.

- A fairly fit body, or, conversely, an obese physique. Can you call yourself portly in the mirror, and then consider yourself honest, without any delusions? Then you would be fine. And of course, a physically fit attractive woman is also the best option.

- Long Auburn Hair similar to Julia, my wife’s. THe hair must be able to refract metrion infused olfactory-lumens, or “smellight” as it’s going to be marketed. WHen you look in the mirror, do you look like my lovely wife Julia? If you are looking like that, so be it.

- Your own car.

- You are not a drug addict, or if you are a drug addict, you restrict your drug use to between 7:00 pm and 7:17 pm, the earliest of the 17 minute portions of what ABC or CBS consideres to be “Prime Time”, and which shows an average of 4 – 7 shoe commercials, per family, in a typical fiscal year.

- A willingness to indulge the staff in some lighthearted fun, some kidding around with props, and maybe a few static poses, or tableaus, that recreate some of the best photographs from my wife Julia’s marraige to her current husband, Mitchell, who is not a scientist, but is physicist. And of course penetrative sexual intercourse possibly with tiny miniature versions of my staff, for our amusement and for you to be paid for.

In compensation, i will give each of the women who participate in this a small bag with a surprise number of diamonds (real diamonds that i have become the posessor of throuh a series of interactions with the former owners). YOu will receive diamonds with a value between 10,000$$ and 30,000$

FAMOUS SCIENTIST NEEDS NUDE FEMALES FOR DIAMOND PARTY

The Lair

$10,000 – 30,000

I have recently learned that Dedreick Barzan has double crossed you in one of his many corporate takeovers. In my long bid to unseat him from the CEOship of Beldyne Enterprises, i thought i was alone, and i certainly never thought I’d be sitting down to dinner with the likes of you. You’re rich, born rich, had everything. You are everything i despise, me, coming from a certain side of the tracks, let’s just say, a wrong side. THe very wrong side of the tracks. My father was laid off at the plant by people like you, and you can BET i carry a grudge.

So why are we going to be friends? Like I say, you have been double crossed, and now my quest is your quest. We both want to see Dedreick Barzan unseated. I have the experience, and you have the contacts.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so they say, so i guess we’re already friends. If you are out there and recognize that I am talking about YOu in particular, then please reply to me. I’ll be waiting by the Oak Tree were Sandra left me, saying that my obsession with revenge was taking over my life, that the rich bastards get away with murder in this world and i had to accept that. I still loved her, even as I left her, and now i come back her to relive her diatribe and remind myself that i made the right choice. Except the one time I will eventually return here while it is raining. At that point i am likely to cry and scream “WHYYYYY!?”. But that’s the future.

For now, let’s be pals!

I have recently learned that Dedreick Barzan has double crossed you in one of his many corporate takeovers. In my long bid to unseat him from the CEOship of Beldyne Enterprises, i thought i was alone, and i certainly never thought I’d be sitting down to dinner with the likes of you. You’re rich, born rich, had everything. You are everything i despise, me, coming from a certain side of the tracks, let’s just say, a wrong side. THe very wrong side of the tracks. My father was laid off at the plant by people like you, and you can BET i carry a grudge.

So why are we going to be friends? Like I say, you have been double crossed, and now my quest is your quest. We both want to see Dedreick Barzan unseated. I’m good with computers, and you’re a 3rd level master of creating hollywood special effects out of whatever happens to be at hand when the sh*t hits the fan.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so they say, so i guess we’re already friends. If you are out there and recognize that I am talking about YOu in particular, then please reply to me. I’ll be waiting by the Oak Tree were Sandra left me, saying that my obsession with revenge was taking over my life, that the rich bastards get away with murder in this world and i had to accept that. I still loved her, even as I left her, and now i come back her to relive her diatribe and remind myself that i made the right choice. Except the one time I will eventually return here while it is raining. At that point i am likely to cry and scream “WHYYYYY!?”. But that’s the future.

For now, let’s be pals!

posted in casual encounters m4m

I used to post on craigslist a lot when i first discovered it. Here are some of my favourite posts.